Amazed by You (Riding Tall Book 11) Read online

  She typed in the word.

  The screensaver vanished and she was in.

  Yep. That dumb. She rolled her eyes, while at the same time her muscles relaxed with relief.

  Celine leaned forward and studied the screen. First, Celine wanted to let Meredith know she was doing fine. She hadn’t been in the mood to talk with anyone on the phone—it hurt her head to talk too much—but a quick email would be all right.

  She logged onto one of her web email accounts, composed a quick email to her friend, and promised to be in touch again. When she was finished, she logged out.

  Next, she wanted to figure out how to make funds available when she couldn’t get to a bank. Maybe she should see what was in her accounts now.

  Wait, was her accounting software still hijacked by the ransomware? Could she even get into the programs? It had only been a short time since she’d told Monty to get the best protection he could for her accounts and her designs. Had he done that?

  She brought up the Internet browser and typed in her company’s remote access site. She let out a breath of relief when she logged into her company’s accounting software.

  Celine frowned as she examined the records. Her accounts, while still healthy, appeared to have considerably less in them since the last time she looked.

  Twenty thousand had gone to the ransomware, according to Monty. But what were these other charges? She did a mental calculation. It appeared that her accounts had dropped by at least fifty thousand since the last time she’d looked, maybe a week ago.

  Her heart thudded. One of three things could be responsible—the accounting was wrong; or she’d had some big unexpected expenses, like the ransomware attack; or maybe this time the virus had screwed up her books.

  A fourth possibility existed that she didn’t want to even consider—was someone in her company stealing from her?

  She signed out of the remote access and went to her bank website, then logged in.

  The summary of her accounts came up. Her stomach dropped to her toes this time, and her heart beat faster.

  Something must be wrong. Her business accounts were close to a hundred thousand less than the last time she had looked. That was close to double the amount of funds that appeared to be missing in her business accounts. It didn’t make sense. As her CFO, Monty always did such a good job of keeping the accounting team on track and the accounts balanced.

  What the hell happened? Did it have anything to do with the computer attack and her accounts having been held hostage?

  She forced herself to breathe calmly. Monty could explain this. Everything was fine.

  If only she had her phone, she could call him.

  She stared at Charlie’s computer screen. She didn’t see an app for Skype. Where did he get his email? She looked at the row of icons at the bottom of the screen. One of these had to be for email.

  A chat window at the lower right hand corner of the screen caught her attention. Monty had that instant messenger application—she’d chatted with him many times before with the same app. She could reach him that way, and it would be a lot faster than email.

  She could sign out of his account and sign into her own, but it would be easier just to send Monty a message from here.

  Tension in her body eased a little more as she clicked on the chat window. There had to be a rational reason for the difference in her accounts. Bills that hadn’t been paid until now—something.

  She went through the list of contacts until she reached Monty’s name.

  ”Yes,” she muttered aloud and selected the icon with his picture on it.

  The keys made a click clack sound as she typed. Monty, are you there?

  The cursor blinked a moment as she waited for his response.

  What do you want, Charlie? popped up on the screen. I’m in the middle of something.

  This is Celine. My laptop is missing and I’m in your trailer on Charlie’s laptop.

  For a long moment, nothing.

  Then, Celine, thank God you’re safe. Jayson told me what happened. How are you?

  Fine. Stuck here since the road is out. Looks like a crater over there.

  In the same boat, he typed.

  I need to talk with you. It’s important.

  What can I help you with?

  She took a deep breath then told him the news. My company accounts and my bank accounts aren’t even close to matching. What is going on?

  A long pause.

  I hope to the heavens that the hackers didn’t attack again and just flat out take the cash, he finally said.

  Did you get the software to protect the company from that?

  Yes.

  That was it. Yes.

  Then what happened? she asked.

  I’ll look into it and get right back to you.

  Celine hurried to respond. Is it possible for me to get to your ranch? I want to work on this with you. She waited for him to reply.

  A moment later, If it’s not out, there is a trail you can take.

  Can I stay at your house? Sick of this place.

  Another long pause. Was there something wrong with the connection? Maybe it was taking longer than normal for her messages to reach him, too.

  Of course. I can meet you at the trail.

  She breathed out a long sigh as she spoke aloud. How do I get there?

  He typed in directions that sounded easy enough.

  When? popped into her box.

  As soon as possible.

  That is for the best, he answered.

  The best for what?

  He could probably use her help.

  Celine peeked through the curtains of the trailer window. It was getting darker and stormier looking.

  She sighed and went back to the chat window. Looks like tomorrow will be better. A storm is likely hitting soon.

  Message me in the morning when you’re ready, he responded. In the meantime, I’ll check out everything in detail.

  Thanks, Monty. You’re the best.

  No response.

  She lowered the lid of the laptop and put it back into sleep mode.

  A knock at the trailer door startled her. Who—

  Of course, it had to be Jayson. No one else was around.

  She debated on whether or not to even answer.

  “I know you’re in there.” He knocked again. “I’m coming in one way or another, Celine. We need to talk.”

  How did he even know she was there?”

  Oh, duh. She’d left the rubber boots outside the door.

  “You’re pissed at me and with good reason.” She couldn’t read his tone as he spoke. “But I’m not going to stand out here and yell about it through the door.”

  Celine pushed herself to her feet and practically stomped to the door. “Go away.”

  “Not on your life.”

  “Then someone else’s life.” She scowled. “Just leave.”

  “Nope.”

  Heat flushed her skin and she jerked the door open. “I said go—”

  He stepped into the trailer, forcing her backward with his sheer presence

  She planted her feet, raised her chin, and fisted her hands at her sides.

  In a movement too fast for her to stop, he caught her in his arms and brought his mouth down hard on hers.

  Celine’s mind spun with the thrill of his intoxicating kiss. She felt drunk with it, drunk with him.

  She didn’t hesitate to respond. She’d wanted him since she first met him, in this very trailer.

  His western hat was in the way and she pushed it off, then heard the thump of it on the carpeted trailer floor. She slid her hands down his chest then pulled his T-shirt out of his jeans and ran her palms up the hard planes of his abs to his marvelous pecs. He felt even better than she’d imagined.

  His hands roamed her back, but he didn’t go any farther than that. She’d never been kissed like this in her life.

  Jayson drew back. Her breathing came hard and fast and she saw his did, too.

/>   He met her forehead with his. They stood for a long moment as she waited for him to say something, to do something.

  When he raised his head, she looked into his eyes. They were filled with passion and desire. Yet, at the same time something else was there, too. Regrets?

  “I want you, Celine.” His voice came out rough. “But we have to talk.”

  “Okay.” She cleared her throat. “Here?”

  He looked at their surroundings, Charlie’s mess all around them. He sighed and stepped back from her before scooping up his western hat. “It’s as good a place as any.”

  “The place is a disaster right now, but the couch is comfortable.” Celine took Jayson’s hand and led him to the leather couch across from the computer desk where she’d been working.

  His hand felt so good in hers. Warm and callused, it was the hand of a man who performed hard work.

  They sank onto the couch, but Jayson shifted, sat on the edge, and angled to meet her gaze.

  “What do you need to talk about?” she asked softly.

  He blew out his breath and shook his head. “I’m afraid, Celine.”

  She cocked her head. “Afraid of what?”

  “Myself,” he said. “What I’m capable of.”

  “I don’t understand,” she said slowly. “Can you please explain?”

  He braced his forearms on his thighs and looked at his hands before meeting her gaze.

  He hesitated a little longer, then said, “When I was twenty-two, I almost killed a man I’d considered my friend.”

  A chill rolled through Celine during the heavy silence. Her words to him earlier, about not having murdered someone in cold blood flashed through her mind. Had he nearly done exactly that? “How? A brawl of some kind?”

  Jayson met her gaze. “I caught him trying to rape a girl we’d grown up with.” Jayson shook his head. “I lost it. I saw red and I could have killed him if I hadn’t found the strength to stop.” His throat worked as he swallowed. “I put him in the hospital.”

  Celine felt a weight press down on her as she thought about what Jayson had said. The guilt he carried from what had happened must have been tremendous.

  “You saved the girl,” Celine said.

  “Yeah.” Jayson dragged his hand down his face. “I don’t regret that. But I took it too far.”

  “You were twenty-two.” Celine leaned forward. “You made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes.”

  He eyed her steadily. “Not everyone nearly kills someone.”

  She needed to make him see things differently. “That was something like sixteen years ago?”

  He gave a brief nod.

  “Have you ever lost control like that again?”

  “No.” He studied her as she held his gaze. “But it’s in me. If I did it once, I’m capable of doing it again.”

  She grasped one of his hands in hers and squeezed it. “I did things when I was young that I’m not proud of. But I’ve changed. I’ve learned from those mistakes and I won’t repeat them.”

  “Have you forgiven yourself?” He gripped her hand in return. “For the guilt you’ve carried all these years?”

  She smiled faintly. “I hadn’t until that day in the barn when I spent time with you and the horses. I carried that weight for all these years, but you and Shiloh and Starlight made me realize that my horse, Sky, wouldn’t have wanted me to carry this weight. She was as human to me as anyone. I shared everything with her. She might have been a horse, but I think she was actually an angel.”

  A slight smile curved Jayson’s lips. “I think you just might be right. My dad always said the same thing about dogs. They were sent to us from Heaven.” He flashed a grin. “Cats though, my dad thinks they’re from down south.”

  Celine smiled. “Where’s Thor? He’s a good example. He helped save my life.”

  “Yes, he did.” Jayson shifted on the couch. “He’s back at the house. I told him to hold down the fort.”

  She put her other hand over their clasped ones. “Back to this guilt you are holding onto. What are you going to do about it?”

  He had a faraway look in his eyes and appeared to be turning it over and over in his mind. He said nothing.

  Celine tried again to break into his thoughts. “How is the girl?”

  Jayson’s gaze came back into focus. “She’s doing well. Married, four kids, two dogs, and a pet squirrel that hangs out in the backyard.”

  Celine laughed before letting her tone become more serious. “Then you need to think about that. Being raped could have made her emotionally unavailable. It happens. You might even have saved her life.”

  Jayson blew out his breath and looked at their joined hands before meeting her gaze again. “I’m going to have to think on this.”

  “I understand.” She smiled gently. “We have both been living with guilt almost too great to bear. It’s time to let go.”

  He untangled his fingers from hers and stood. “Come back to the house with me and I’ll make dinner. Then how about a movie?”

  “Okay.” She got to her feet. “That sounds nice.”

  He rested his palms on her shoulders. “I’m sorry about earlier.”

  “You have nothing to be sorry about.” She leaned forward and brushed her lips over his. “I get it.”

  He gave her a soft kiss in return before leading her out of Monty’s trailer.

  Chapter 10

  “You make fantastic tacos.” Celine settled on the loveseat in the living room and tucked her feet beneath her. Their “talk” yesterday seemed like it happened ages ago. “The best meal of the last week or so of our entrapment. As a matter of fact, the best tacos anywhere, in my book.”

  Jayson grinned and stretched out on the couch. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

  “You should.” She leaned back against the cushions as Thor hopped onto the cushion beside her. “I’ve been in some great Mexican restaurants, and theirs don’t come close.”

  “That’s because the best ones aren’t big fancy places. The restaurants that can’t be beat are the little dives.” Jayson propped himself on his elbow. “Once we get out of here, I’ll take you to a terrific place, a hole-in-the-wall in Prescott.”

  “Perfect.” She sighed and rested her hand on Thor’s head. She rubbed him behind his ears and he made a pleased groaning sound. “Do you have a movie in mind for tonight?” They’d watched several of his older favorites on DVD over the past few nights since they’d had problems with reception and his online video account.

  “Let’s see if I can log on and look for something different.” He used the remote to turn on his TV and select his account.

  In moments, he pulled up a list of available movies. It would be nice to watch something current as opposed to the older movies he had on DVD. Not that she hadn’t enjoyed them. They went through the list until they both agreed on an action drama about a woman searching for her husband who had mysteriously vanished.

  Even though she and Jayson weren’t sitting next to each other, Celine felt as if they were. A connection tethered them, like nothing she could ever have imagined. It made it difficult to focus on the movie. She wanted to be closer to him, to feel his body against hers as they watched the movie together. They were in the same room, but not close enough.

  The day that had passed since they’d had the talk in Monty’s trailer had been thick with tension, the sexual kind. Jayson had seemed the same as ever, but things had changed. Celine just didn’t know which way they would lean.

  Halfway through the movie, their gazes met and held. It was like it was just the two of them and nothing else in the room.

  Jayson paused the movie and looked at her again. “You’re not watching.”

  The corner of her mouth quirked. “Neither are you.”

  He gave a sexy half-smile. “Maybe we both have other things on our minds.”

  “Maybe you’re right.” She wrapped her arms around her knees. “You first.”

  He got up from his se
at and took the few steps to reach the loveseat, then snapped his fingers and Thor jumped down. Jayson settled onto the cushion beside her.

  His nearness was electric. She had to hold herself back from moving closer, sliding onto his lap, and kissing him. He clearly wanted her—she could see it in his eyes. But he didn’t make a move and he didn’t say anything.

  She held her arms more tightly around her knees, bringing them closer to her chest, as if to protect her from what he might say. What if he told her they needed to keep their distance and not consider any kind of physical relationship?

  Was that all she wanted—something physical?

  No. She wanted more from Jayson. Maybe more than he was willing to give. Or more than he could give.

  “Have you thought about what we talked about?” she asked.

  “Almost nothing but,” he said slowly. “I spent a good deal of my time considering what you said, and the rest thinking about you.”

  She held her breath and let it out slowly. “And the verdict?”

  Jayson moved closer to her. She felt alive with his nearness, the electric connection sizzling and vibrant. She breathed in his scent and the warmth of his body radiated out to her.

  Slowly, he brushed hair from her eyes. The strands slid across her cheek in a silky trail. She shivered, the contact causing all thought to vanish for that moment.

  He cupped her cheeks in his palms and smiled.

  She couldn’t breathe. His mouth hovered over hers, his breath warm over her lips.

  “You’re right,” he murmured. “Everything you said. I’m not the same young man.”

  She slid her fingers into his hair and pulled him down to meet her.

  His kiss was long, making up for every moment that had been between them since they had met.

  Every lonely moment that she hadn’t been in his arms.

  And now—there was no place on earth she wanted to be but right here in Jayson’s arms.

  He shifted her so that she straddled his hips. She drew back and looked down at him. A smile touched her lips. “You’re a good man, Jayson McBride.”

  “And you’re one hell of a woman.”

  He cupped the back of her head, drawing her down again until their lips met. His kiss was hungry, urgent now, and she threw herself into it with wicked abandon.